a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
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