Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
