I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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