You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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