Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
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