Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
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