Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
