is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
