Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Randomize
