Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize