Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
