im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Randomize
