I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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