Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
