I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
