I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Randomize
