So drunk its hurt
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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