You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
And then the night went full on bisexual.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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