I wish my penis had an off switch
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
