We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
