Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
