I think im going to throw up on grandma
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
