I think i peed on brittanys purse
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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