were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
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