Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
