Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
