I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
sex in a hospital.. check
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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