In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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