Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
