I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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