Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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