she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
