I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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