he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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