I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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