pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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