I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
