hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
