Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
