he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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