When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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