Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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