you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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