We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Just pee around me
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Randomize
