Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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