Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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