living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
