I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
