apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize