I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Please don't give away my fajitas
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