I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
