Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Randomize
