how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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