420 ftw
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
